My husband and I tried and tried to have children. I had surgery, then there will hormone pill, then shots, then artificial inseminations…nothing was working. In the meantime everyone seemed to have their own advice as to what more I needed to do to get pregnant. But nothing worked. Thank goodness for adoption! The Lord faithfully heard my cry and my desire for children. He provided in a way that was definitely not my plan or my way, but was His perfect plan and His perfect way! My husband and I have now adopted all 5 of our sweet babies within 7 years. I had no idea that this would be my story, but I am beyond grateful and now I am an advocate for adoption and an encouragement to those who have struggled with infertility and waiting. Everyone’s story is different, but once you’re touched by adoption, your gratefulness for the child or children go beyond what words can really express! For those facing Mother’s day with empty arms, my heart goes out to you and understands…keep waiting and be patient. You don’t want A child, you want the ONE the Lord has for YOU!
Our adoption story started with infertility, as many do. Choosing to close the door on that stage of our lives and opening the door to adoption meant hope for our family, and for the first time in many years, we were excited about the journey to come. We were matched with our daughter Hazel’s birthmother early on in her pregnancy. My husband and I FaceTimed with her after all of her doctors appointments, and even flew out to AZ to spend time with her before her c-section. The hospital she gave birth in was very adoption-supportive and we were given a room across the hall from Hazel’s birthmother… and for 3 days, we co-parented with her biological parents. We have a picture with all 5 of us – 2 birth parents, 2 adoptive parents and 1 precious baby – and that’s really the heart of our adoption story. 4 people doing the best that we can for 1 little girl.
Our story had many ups and downs, but I say that to encourage you not to be afraid of the unknown. I could never have imagined a more perfect fit for our family than our little Hazel James, but I would never have thought to pray for how it unfolded. This weekend can be tough on waiting families, but we’re here in the trenches with you, praying for you and rooting for you 💕
I tried to find a picture of all 3 of us, but let’s be honest – Mama is always behind the camera! Here’s Hazy J with her daddy in the happiest place on earth a few weeks ago!
The paperwork was endless, the home inspection was nerve racking, the wait was hard, the weeks up leading up to birth were full of anxiety, the drive there was oh so slow, the nurses couldn’t let us see our baby fast enough . . . but it was worth it! I remember people saying it would be worth it and in the midst of it I wasn’t sure. Now I am sure. I’m sure this baby was meant for us. I’m sure she was protected by the Lord and will continue to be her entire life. I’m sure this birth mom gave me the best gift I’ve ever received. I’m sure she is perfect.
I’m sure I was meant to be a mother. Happy Mother’s Day to all those waiting. “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
For many years Mother’s Day was a tough season to embrace and get excited about. I didn’t have a clue if I’d ever get to experience the flowers, cards, special brunch or sweet, thoughtful gifts that accompany a day especially for moms. I had heard “no” so many times…no positive signs on pregnancy tests, no success with fertility drugs, no IVF round working, no birthmother selecting us…until. Until 4 years ago on Mother’s Day weekend (of all weekends!), we got a completely unexpected call from our attorney that an expecting mother had picked us. We didn’t even know that our profile was being shown for a situation!
Turns out, it was our “yes.” All the “no” experiences had to happen to make way for our perfect “yes.” And this “yes” is so much better, so much sweeter, so much happier than any of the plans we ever tried to orchestrate and arrange.
Hold tight, friends. We fully believe your “yes” will happen. And it was be at exact time it’s intended. xoxo
I lost my son at 26 weeks gestation, and for eight years in a row I either avoided church completely on Mother’s Day, or I sat in the sanctuary in a puddle of tears ugly crying. Infertility had reared its ugly head in our marriage and won – but God had other plans.
Adoption was always in the back of our minds. At the beginning of our relationship we talked about how adoption would be a part of building our family… we just thought adoption would come after we had biological children – but God had other plans.
For 5 years we stared back at negative pregnancy tests. We underwent fertility treatments, tests, surgeries… you name it we tried it. Everyone kept telling us – “it’s all in God’s timing”, or “you are young, you have plenty of time to have babies.” All of the things that no hopeful parent wants to hear.
In late 2012 we were praying that pregnancy would finally happen for us and had plans to do more testing and procedures in the new year. Instead, more medical issues arose and I had a stroke. A few months later I had a tubal ligation because pregnancy was deemed to be much too dangerous for me. I was devastated and guessed this had closed the door to us ever becoming parents – but God had other plans.
After much prayer and consideration, we were ready to pursue adoption. Though I was bitter about not having bio children, I knew that God had laying adoption on my heart all those years before was not by accident.
I wish I could tell you that choosing adoption was all rainbows and butterflies, but that wouldn’t be the truth. Walking the road of infertility for so long was extremely difficult – but so was walking the road to become an adoptive momma. Everyone told me that adoption was much like riding a rollercoaster. We got on and tried to enjoy the ride. Paperwork, doctor’s appointments, background checks, more paperwork, waiting, home study visits, interviews, reference letters, profile books, being told “no” time after time, failed matches, waiting, calls with potential moms, flying back home with an empty carseat… it was HARD, but oh so worth it (so much so that we are doing it again! )
In April of 2014, our dreams of becoming parents finally came true. OUR beautiful daughter – the one that God always had plans for, was handed to us from the most wonderful, selfless, loving momma. She had entrusted us to be mommy and daddy to her baby. I finally got to celebrate Mother’s Day with a baby this side of heaven -because God had other plans.
We are beyond thankful that God had other plans because we could have missed this. #beautyfromashes #wecouldhavemissedthis
Adoption is hard, messy, an emotional roller coaster and I thought the wait might kill me. Turns out I survived all the above through both of our extra special adoptions! If you’re an awaiting momma keep your head up…the result at the end is worth all the nights you thought you couldn’t make it another day seeing everyone else adopt or have bio kids of their own. Thankful for such brave birth moms who chose life for their babies…thankful I get to be a momma and praying for all mommas who are waiting! 💕
When it is all finished…you will discover it was not random.
“I cannot put into words what our experience to Jolee Grace was like. I cannot put into words my feelings for “S”, Jolee’s First Momma, and this entire adoption process. She will forever have a place in my heart. This woman gave our family the one thing we have longed for for so long. She helped our family grow and fill the void in our hearts. She selflessly gave her flesh and blood to two complete strangers she “met” through a 16 page profile book.”
Friends, this is an excerpt out of my blog post of our Journey to Jolee. Adoption is a long, hard road. There were so many obstacles in our way, but as Joshua 1:5 says, “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so will I be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” With each road block that came our way, God held us close and showed us the way.
We are so thankful for all of the individuals that assisted us in our Journey to Jolee. Jolee Grace is our biggest blessing and life before her seems so long ago. Each and every heartache, “No”, negative test, doctors appointment was one step closer to Jolee. We would not trade this life for anything.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God shows up when you least expect it. I was 5 weeks post hysterectomy after battling endometriosis/infertility for over 5 years, 10 days post the sudden passing of my little sister (my only sibling) and only 6 days from another Mother’s Day without a baby. It was probably the lowest moment of my life. I remember crying and telling my husband I was certain that a birth mother would never choose us. He assured me that was crazy talk and it was all going to be fine. Then I received an unexpected call around lunch time from our adoption attorney. A baby had been born that morning and the birth mother decided to place for adoption. He had taken profile books to her immediately and she chose us! It was a crazy few days as we headed to the hospital and our amazing friends and family helped us prepare to bring a baby home! We had nothing but a car seat, pack n play and baby swing. It was the biggest blessing we could have ever asked for! Today we have been waiting over a year and half to be chosen a second time, but are so blessed to have our nephew living with us and our 3 year old, Reed! The wait is the hardest part…but it makes the blessing even bigger. Don’t give up…You’re already a momma…you just haven’t met your child yet.
We battled infertility for several years all while saying if we can’t we’ll adopt. Us like many, didn’t realize how hard the wait would be. Once we finally took to the path where God was leading us I felt like we were showing our profile multiple times a week with no match in sight. Hoping and praying that the birth Moms would feel something when they seen ours. We actually went through 2 failed adoptions. The heartache, tears, and whys all make sense now. Gods plan is so much bigger/better than our own! Hold tight in your wait Mommas because he is working on all the details! Our Braden was his plan all long and the wait is just a distant memory! Love and prayers for all those waiting this Mother’s Day! 💕
Families waiting on their child, do not give up hope!!!! I remember when Mother’s Day used to be so painful, I would not leave the house or talk to anyone. It took 4 miscarriages and 1 failed adoption to find our son…he is worth every single tear and hardship! I wouldn’t change a thing about our story! Hugs to those in waiting ! 💓
On my third Mother’s Day, I just wanted to take a minute to share on behalf of and send some hope to the mamas that might not fit the traditional mama mold. Though I honor and respect those families that are religiously motivated to adopt, that isn’t the lens we took our journey through. As a leftist, tattoo covered, work/career loving lady I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of being chosen by an expectant mother. As 2016 came to a close we approached the two year mark of waiting with our first adoption (via another agency) and the wait paired with two matches that dissolved along the way caused my confidence to falter. Yet little did I know that just as we were preparing to endure yet another holiday season without children, one special couple was reviewing our profile and determining that we were exactly the kind of people they wanted to raise their baby. On December 28th of that year we became first time parents to our daughter and over two years later it’s still surreal. Even more surreal, is the fact that only two months after completing our home study with Adoption Assistance in May of 2018 we were chosen by a wonderful expectant mother. Our son was born in August and has absolutely been our missing piece. The relationship I’ve developed with his other mama has also made my heart so full. So to those waiting families who might be a little outside the box rest assured that, be it two months or two years from now, somewhere there is an expectant mom who will have the confidence in you that you might not even have in yourself and knows that you are exactly what her child needs–and what she needs–to feel secure and at peace with this difficult decision.
If you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done. I had to dig deeper than the frustration of the wait, believe bigger than doubt I let creep in, and trust in something that you can not hold, touch or see. To all Mothers and Mothers to Be on this journey, may every day be your day to do something that you’ve never done.